From Survivor to Thriver | Erik DaRosa

Deana Brown Mitchell: 00:00:00

Hi everybody, it's Deana at The Realized Foundation. And today I am here with Erik DeRosa. And he lives in a little bitty ski town in Colorado called Snowmass. And I used to live there for years and it's one of my favorite places in the world. So welcome, Erik.

Erik DaRosa: 00:00:19

Hi Deana, thank you so much for having me on today. First off, I just want to say what an honor it was when you asked me to participate in in writing a chapter in this book. It was the first time I've ever written anything within a book I've done articles I have my podcast and I've done a lot of public speaking but I've never actually used that part of my right brain and and so I was really excited to be able to do that. And then as you and I were having that very first conversation that day and talking about you haven't moved here in Snowmass Village I'm here still in Snowmass Village and and you're in terms of distance, you're not all that far away here in Colorado, but having to navigate around and overall these mountain ranges adds quite a few hours to the to the amount of travel so it's, it's fun to be speaking to somebody who, who understands life in a mountain town.

Deana Brown Mitchell: 00:01:18

Yeah, absolutely. I've lived in I've lived in many actually. But Snowmass was my first and now for if people who are listening that know Colorado, I live in Telluride. But I have also lived in Aspen and Winter Park in Estes Park in Vail and Leadville. So I've made the rounds around the state. But you brought up some a thought I used to listen to some radio station that's local. I can't remember which one it was Caspian? No, it wasn't Caspian. It was something that that statewide, but they were talking about. And this was years ago, but there was like a commercial that said it was talking about how it was so long to go from one place to another because you have to drive around the mountains. Yes. And then they're like, but if you didn't, if it weren't for the mountains, you wouldn't live here. And I forget the exact words they use, but it was just it was always funny to me.

Erik DaRosa: 00:02:19

Yes. Well, it's funny when I tell people I'm What about 100? And I don't know 40 miles from Denver. And then yeah, what is it a four and a half hour drive to get to dia over independence pass or in the winter, you have to go all the way west to go back East. And I've done the drag down to to Telluride and you're going around the elks and it hitting the San Juan's, it's just yeah, it's it's really amazing how even Crested Butte right 12 miles away. And Crested Butte is a three and a half hour drive from where I live.

Deana Brown Mitchell: 00:02:57

Yep. Yep, it's true. When I had my event company. A lot of what I did was drive around the state because I had events all over. And it was like my happy place just being in my deep diving in the mountains. It's always so beautiful. And I got to know all the roads really well. So was it scary to me even really, in the winter? Because I was used to it. And yeah, it was it's just, it's a wonderful place. It's beautiful. It's not always the easiest place to live. But you know, those of us who ski and like the mountains, it's It's paradise.

Erik DaRosa: 00:03:37

Yep. Yeah. If you're a skier, a mountain biker, hiker, and just love being outdoors. 365 days a year life here in the mountains isn't absolutely for you.

Deana Brown Mitchell: 00:03:49

We just made a commercial. That's right. That's funny. Well, I do want to say, I'm so glad that you're part of this project. And I want you to share with everybody what your chapter in the upcoming volume three scars to stars book is about?

Erik DaRosa: 00:04:10

Sure. Absolutely. I'd love to love to tell the audience. So when you asked me to, to become part of the collaboration, and I was very quick to say yes, I was very excited. I what I did is I really sat down and I started to think about what what message do I want to get across to the audience? And what how can that message dovetail with all of the other work that I'm doing in the mental health space? And how does that tie into my overall why and my my own personal mental health journey. And the one thing that just kept coming back to me was this idea of how I kept hiding in the shadows for the first 33 years of my life, and not telling anyone what was happening with my own mental health struggles. And so I started thinking about this idea of why it's so important to speak up and speak out about mental health in general, and also getting other people to know that they're not alone on their journeys. They're people just like them who are out there who have struggled, who have, who have moved through it. And so I ended up coming up with a title, it's called tell someone, and it describes what it feels like when we finally break the cycle of silence by sharing our mental health struggles for the very first time. And so my chapter really starts out with a bit of a backstory of me growing up throughout my adolescent years, my high school years, my college years, and then my early years on Wall Street in New York City, and what it was like for me, dealing with severe anxiety, and obsessive compulsive disorder, and hiding behind a mask or a facade, and not sharing that with anyone, for a very, very, very long time. And I thought, I want to really bring people into what it feels like to have anxiety and to have OCD, for those who haven't had it, or haven't experienced it, to get an idea of what it what it's like. And for those who do live with it, to hear that, yes, there's somebody else like you out there. And this is this is my own manifestation of it. And so what I did is I kind of walked through, you know, what the signs and symptoms of my anxiety were like, and what my obsessive compulsive disorder was like, and how I could see that OCD change and morph over time and, and how unpredictable and you know, all the different twists and turns that it would take. But what I wanted to do is I wanted to tie that back with this idea of why it's so important to speak up and tell someone and not make the same mistake that I made by hiding in the shadows for the first 33 years. And so I decided to take what was really the defining moment of my own personal journey, which was in 2004. When I had a dissociative episode, I was living in New York City. And my wife and I had been away for a weekend at her dad's house. And my brain had started to really go into overload. And during the drive back from we were in Albany at the time to New York City, I really write in detail about what that dissociative episode, how it started, what it felt like what it led to, to really bring the readers in to give them an idea of what it's like to and I describe it, as you know, the world kind of goes black, and your brain and your body separate. And I wanted to take the readers into that so that they could feel that emotion. But of course, I wanted to leave them with a message of hope that there's help that there's a way through. And so it comes full circle, with me saying this dissociative episode, as difficult and as challenging and as dark as a of a place that it took me. What it really did is it led me to finally tell someone, and I had that conversation with my wife, that I was tired of living like this, I needed a change. And I know I needed help, but I wasn't sure what that help even look like or how to go about it. And so from that point on, that's where my real mental health journey started. And it's when I started to finally see a therapist, I went on medication. And you know, from that day forward, I started to speak about my own mental health journey publicly. And I was no longer living in the shadows, I was no longer afraid of what other people might think. I wasn't afraid of the judgement anymore. And at the end, I really leave readers with this, you know, idea of you too can move through this and you'll find someone who you can trust who you can confide in. Please don't go down the same road that I did. You know, times are much different now than them when I was growing up as a child in the 70s and 80s. And, and it's important that we make these mental health conversations part of our kitchen table conversations at whatever age we are.

Deana Brown Mitchell: 00:09:52

Yes, absolutely. I'm so I'm excited about you sharing your story and how many people are going into you know, it because sometimes people go through things. And they don't understand. Like, they understand what's happening to them or what, what they're thinking or feeling. But they don't necessarily understand what that is in a mental health term. And so I think that, that your descriptions and your, you know, stories of your experiences helped people understand Oh, that's what happened. That's what this is. Yeah, experience when sometimes we don't understand what OCD looks like, if we've never, we might have experienced it, but maybe we don't know what it is, is what I'm trying to say.

Erik DaRosa: 00:10:45

Yeah, you know, you're so very right. And when I write in the chapter, and I speak about this quite a lot, it's this for me for so very long. I thought, literally, I thought I was broken. And I thought I was different. And I remember growing up as a kid looking around and seeing my other friends, and thinking, why can't I just be like them. And, you know, fast forward now, here I am 51 years old. And I've reconnected with some of my really close highschool friends. And we've had this very conversation now that, you know, my podcast as has gone global, and many of them have said to me now, you too. And when I when I heard those two words, you too, I immediately asked that question. Well, so you had anxiety, or you had OCD. And it's amazing how many of my friends are going through something very similar. None of us at the time, were tell, told anybody we're willing to tell anybody even knew how to tell anybody. And as you were talking about, you know, OCD, it's too many people think that OCD, as portrayed in the movies, is just this idea of some, you're extremely neat, or you're extremely organized. Or, you know, maybe you're not going to walk on cracks in the sidewalk. And so people see these things, and they kind of chuckle and think, oh, that's, that's kind of weird, or that's kind of strange, like, you should just be able to change that. And the reality is OCD is so much more than that. And OCD is all about, you know, obsessive thoughts and intrusive thoughts that are, you know, they can be harmful they can, they can be terrifying. And all we want to be able to do is we want to be able to block those out, which, for those who either struggle with OCD, or learning more about OCD, it's the one thing you actually don't want to do. And you need to be able to learn how to train your brain to recognize those thoughts, and just say, Hey, I know you're there, and allow it to go away. And the compulsions are not anything that we do, because we actively want to do them. The compulsions are something that we do in order to give us this sense of safety and security. And we feel as though if we don't do these compulsions, you know, so for me, turning light switches on and off, checking the, the knob on the stove, and thinking of that, I turned, that I turn the stove off or not, or doing everything in threes, it gives us that sense that that false sense of safety and security that since I've done these things, nothing bad is going to happen to me, or to a loved one. And so when I when I hope to be able to do through the chapter is really give you the reader a look into what that world is like and, and hopefully spark some conversation and some dialog around it. And, and there's lots of resources if people find an interest in that, or it relates to them to be able to go and do some more research and but yeah, there's so many of us out there who, who live with these things. And, and there are ways that we can live a happy and fulfilling life and be able to work through it.

Deana Brown Mitchell: 00:14:18

Absolutely. I think it's it's one of those things that I joke about in my life all the time because I am so particular about everything. But I've never I've never been diagnosed with anything because I never have gone through the process of getting help other than like, maybe a dozen therapy sessions in my life. You know, and I waited 23 years after my suicide attempt to even do that. But what I in my mind, it's like I everything has a certain place, and if it's out of place, or there's one Like smudges on my whiteboard or like, that drives me crazy. And and it's funny because when I was in architecture school, we had a lab and we, you know, there was a bunch of us that worked in this space. And we would have, you know, we lock our stuff up are tools and all that. But we would some of us would have each other's combinations, and we borrow stuff, right. And so I worked at I worked at a restaurant at the time. So I was always working at night when people were in there working. And so they would, you know, they would get, they would borrow some of my stuff and put it back or whatever. But it got to be this game, that they would go in my stuff, and they would just move something. And then when I came in, they would wait to see if I noticed, and I always notice.

Erik DaRosa: 00:15:51

Yep. So do you know you're not the only one? I'll tell you a funny anecdote. So it's my, it's my sophomore year, my sophomore year. Yeah, it was my sophomore year in college, and I was living. So I was part of the track team still at the time. And so our on campus housing, we had a suite. And within that suite, there were six separate bedrooms, and a common area and two bathrooms, and, but my suitemates and I we never locked our doors, and I probably should have at the time. But my room was, you know, very, very organized. As you said, I knew where every single thing was, you know, the books were in order, largest to smallest, and you know, my notebooks color coordinated, and, and so one day, my suitemates thought it would be a funny thing to do to go in, and just move everything slightly, like, so to the average person, if you would come in the room the day before. And then after this, you wouldn't notice anything. So I remember walking in and right away my eyes, were just going to all of the things, you know, and the expletives that were coming out of my mouth. And, you know, I screaming at my sweet baits and, and when I look back at it, and for them, it was just a harmless joke, it was a harmless prank. And they of course, had no idea what I was experiencing, and how could they because I never spoke about it. But when my my reaction to that, right, and I talked a lot these days about reactions versus responses, my reaction to that was to explode into blow up. And, you know, I spent, I don't know how many hours taking my room apart and putting it all back together exactly the way it had been. And that was what life with OCD was like, it's all of these countless rituals and activities that you do to, to, you know, write this in the book to be saved from the boogeyman, right? That that you think are coming, and who really aren't. But the amount of time and the amount of energy. When I look back now that I spent with all of these rituals, I don't even know sometimes how I was able to get through my day, not only from the amount of time it spent, but how exhausting it was both physically and mentally. And, you know, through therapy, I've done a lot of work with my therapist here in Colorado, we've done a lot of cognitive behavioral therapy. And one of the really interesting activities we've done is shall have me intentionally leave things as they are. So for me a big one was always books. So I'm my coffee table, I would have my calendar and my books and everything right in order to largest on the bottom. And so we have two cats. And so the cats would come and they would kind of move books around Of course, I'd have to straighten them and she's worked a lot with me on just leave things where they are. And I remember when I first started doing it, I would see the books would have been moved. And I'd want you know my body right it was like this again, reaction, I would just want to go and I would want to straighten them. But I would just have to sit there and I'd have to look at them and go okay, and then redirect my attention somewhere else and and it's within that neuroplasticity and rewiring of the brain where I'm now able to understand that it's okay for this to be the way it is let it just be. And when I have thoughts, obsessive thoughts, just kind of rather than the big shiny object that's screaming Look at me, look at me, look at me. I acknowledge that it's there and I go, Oh, hey, I don't have time for you right now. And I just kind of let it right and and by doing that it takes all the power thoroughly. And so that's what's so important and, and a message I'd love to be able to get across is, as we give these thoughts, more and more power, and we try to push them away, and we try to fight them as exactly what their, their main goal is, is they want to be front and center and present. And, and often it goes back to something or some episode or traumas that may have happened in our childhood that have programmed our, our brains to work that way. But just know that there is, you know, some amazing work that's being done there in the in the fields of anxiety and depression and your obsessive compulsive disorder and, and you name the diagnosis that allow us to be able to live a very happy life.

Deana Brown Mitchell: 00:20:45

Yeah, it's true. And I believe like you. I had that same as you when I was really young, because I was, I don't know how old I was. But my brother was seven years younger than me. So I was probably at least 10 or 12. And he would want to borrow my like, huge box of crayons, right? The 64 Whatever crayon

Deana Brown Mitchell: 00:21:08

with a sharpener in the middle, right?

Deana Brown Mitchell: 00:21:08

We didn't have sorry? No, but he would borrow, I never wanted him to borrow. Because if you'd never put him back in the box, or, you know, whatever. And so I was, I told my mom, I didn't want him to borrow my crayons, because he didn't put them back. And so my mom told him, Gary, you borrow them if you put them back in the box, and, you know, neatly and give them back to Dina. And so he borrowed, put them back in the box. My mom made sure that he brought them to me. And I opened it, and they weren't in the right order. Yes, you know, and so I was mad. And anyway, so I understand what you're saying. And I, you know, I've never had that diagnosis or had the, the therapy around it that you're talking about, but it still makes sense.

Erik DaRosa: 00:22:12

And just like with anything else, there's there's all sorts of like degrees, right people, you can have mild OCD, you can have severe OCD, there's all sorts of types of OCD and the types of intrusive thoughts that we have. And you know, I'll call it a very, it's, it's OCD is its own spectrum, right, it takes on many different shapes and forms and, and so there is no, it's interesting. I'm part of a lot of some Facebook, Facebook groups around OCD and intrusive thoughts, and I'll see people ask questions and ask, is this OCD? Or n? And the answer to all those things is yes, it's it's just to what degree and how it impacts your life. And but there's, there's so many amazing ways now both through medication and through through therapy. And you know, for me being nature and, and Reiki and my mindfulness and meditation that you're able to be able to, to manage it. So that and I write this in the chapter. Anxiety, I live with anxiety, and OCD. The difference today is it no longer manages me.

Deana Brown Mitchell: 00:23:27

That's awesome. And I know that is going to be so helpful to many people. Because that's my hope, like I said, either either. They know they have it, and they don't know how to control it, or your descriptions are going to help them know that that's what it is because they don't know. And so I'm really excited about, about you sharing.

Erik DaRosa: 00:23:49

Thank you so much. Yes, and that's really my hope is that someone or a group of people will pick up the book and say, Oh, wow, that sounds like me or, or I can empathize with that. And, or I know a loved one or I have a child or, or someone who's experiencing the same thing, and it gives them a little glimpse into that world. And also show people that there are, there are ways that you can move through it, and it could, and by reading that chapter, it could hopefully change the trajectory of someone's own personal journey who may have thought that there there was no other way out. Or that this was going to be a lifelong struggle with with no possibility of help and, and so if I can give people just a little bit of light and a little bit of, of hope then, you know, I like as I say in the show, like check the box job done and and, you know, build that community, one person at a time.

Deana Brown Mitchell: 00:24:51

Yeah, absolutely. Well, I think it's obviously our books have so many different stories. that I feel like anybody could pick up one of the books and and find some chapter that they can relate to. And that that is the purpose. And we've had a lot of people say, Well, why don't you do a whole book that's just for this area or that area. And I'm like, because I want people to be able to pick any look up and find something. And if they, if they say how, maybe they have PTSD, and they're just gonna read the book on PTSD, they might miss out on a whole nother thing. That that is really important, like, maybe they know they have PTSD, but they don't know they have OCD, and they wouldn't see your chapter. So I think it's a, it's more of a, I understand it's more of a blanket, you know, process to us than it is to single out things, because most people who have mental health issues, they don't just have one, and they all interconnect in different ways. And I think that, you know, we can all learn from other people's experiences, and that's what this is all about.

Erik DaRosa: 00:26:12

Yes. And, to that point, do you and I love how you've put these books together, because you're, you're so right, it's, it's important that we not only understand our own stories, but that we read the stories of others, so that we can understand what other people are going through, you know, they always say, you know, be kind to other people, because you never know what their day has been like, or what's going on in their life. And, and books like these give a window into, or a slight glimpse through the window into into somebody's own personal journey, which is important. And what you said about mental health struggles is, is very true. There's often whether it's large T trauma, or a series of small t traumas that stack up to create a larger T trauma. You know, all of the people in your books, right? That's the common thread, there's been some sort of trauma, but the way it presents is slightly different. And yes, there may even be some overlaps. And, you know, in my chapter, I even talk about how for so long, all I was doing, even when I was in therapy early on, was treating the symptoms of OCD and severe anxiety. What I didn't know until a couple of years ago, is that it was all a result of childhood emotional PTSD. And so when people pick up the book and start reading these chapters, they might start to see some common threads threads running through, and maybe think, Oh, well, I read this chapter in this chapter. And the person had two different mental health diagnoses. But what they had in common was this trauma. And I experienced a similar trauma when I was, you know, a child or when I was, you know, a teenager, and I have this symptom that I'm experiencing. So maybe that maybe there's something else that I need to dig a little bit deeper, and try to discover in my own life.

Deana Brown Mitchell: 00:28:21

Yeah, absolutely. So Eric, I want to ask you another question. And that is about, you know, you mentioned you were excited to be part of this project. But I'd like you to share a little more about your experience throughout since you joined the scars to stars volume three group, and how that how it was for you, either with the community or with your own writing, or whatever you want to talk about?

Erik DaRosa: 00:28:48

Sure, I think, I think I'll take it from both angles, you're writing and my wife is a writer, I know writing can often be a very solitary thing. And you're sitting, whether it's in front of a computer or a legal pad, and you're just you're spending that time every day and you're writing and you're working to create something, and there are times it can be extremely satisfying. There are times it can be frustrating. And you're really you're chiseling away and you're creating a piece of art. And that's what I really feel it is. And for me, it was really that first opportunity to take something that I've spoken about quite a bit and put it down in writing. And for me, it was the challenge of how do I put it down in writing in a way that becomes very descriptive, and can draw the reader in, rather than just through the auditory senses. And so it was it was fun on many levels. It was challenging on many levels, and I and I feel like at the end of the day, now I have this piece of art that I can offer to people to help them along on their journeys. What I really loved It was not only being able to write the chapter, but really being part of a community of people who were also going through the same thing. And again, it's kind of like you're not alone, right? We weren't alone in this process. And, and to anyone out there who's who's listening and who's thinking, Well, I have a story that I want to be able to tell, you know, being part of, you know, Dina's project, as volume four gets revved up in the months to come, it's a great opportunity to be able to be part of a group, which is super supportive. The members of the group, we all come from different places in our life, and we're on different places on our healing journeys. And so we have weekly author calls, which are an hour long and, and they've been great to get to meet the other writers, and hear some of the challenges they may be working through, or to hear some tips and tricks that have worked for them that may be able to be used in your own your own work. And we've had the opportunity to meet Christopher, who's an author coach. And I can tell you, he has been super helpful in just the way he goes about speaking on what it's like to, to write and how to write. And I've taken a lot of his tips into my own writing, not only for this chapter, but some writing that I'm doing, going beyond and, and Dini, the editor has been amazing, being able to, to share with her, you know, the story, and as I bring it to life, be able to get comments and feedback and, and hear from somebody who doesn't know anything about my own personal story, but can sit down and can read it and can relate to it. And so that, that was really great. And Dina, you know, what you've done to be able to bring all of us together, integrate this amazing group has just been really wonderful. And I look forward to my Tuesdays at 12 o'clock, Colorado time when we all get on the call. And, you know, I feel like even when the book is out, and the book is published, and it's in, it's being read by, you know, people all around the world, I feel like I've now have another family of 1820 people where, you know, we can email we can, you know, message each other and the support group just grows bigger and bigger and bigger. And for me, that's, you know, that's my overall, why of all the things I'm doing, which is really to shatter the stigma around having these mental health conversations. And I feel like I've found yet another chosen family of people with whom I can share those experiences. And I can also lend an ear to be able to listen when, when they may be struggling through things themselves.

Deana Brown Mitchell: 00:33:04

Thank you so much for for all of those comments and feedback. I do believe, you know, the very first event we ever did, for scars to stars was in a march of 21. And it was a summit and we had 15 People who told their story of overcoming adversity. And each person spoke for 20 minutes. And then we had a few breaks where we gotten breakouts, and we got to talk about it. And it was magical. I mean, I couldn't have understood the impact that it was going to have. And you know, we did more of those after that. But as we're talking today, I am trying to put the final touches on something new we're doing, which is a membership, where we can do a mini event I'm calling them every month, where anybody involved in scars to stars can come and have this experience. And we can talk about some content or have a conversation, or show one of our interviews or have a speaker, but then we can also all have a conversation and get in breakouts and get to know each other a little better. And I'm so excited about it because it is the the community part of our mission that we've been trying to figure out for a while. And so the comments you just had around that make me feel like this is the right thing to do. And so I'm super excited that we're going to be putting that out in the world in the next few days or a week.

Erik DaRosa: 00:34:45

Yes. And I'm excited to see it launch. I know you've been working on it. And I really feel like that's what's needed. Right? We there's there are so many of us, you and me and others who are out there who are advocates Eating on behalf of you know, not only ourselves, but those who don't yet feel as though they have a voice to be able to share their story, or may not feel like they're in a safe place to be able to, to let somebody else know what's happening and, and the more groups like this that are created, and the more books like this that come out, you never know who is going to touch and who it might empower to finally be able to, you know, find the strength, the internal strength to be able to speak up, and it's building, you know, these communities, I liken it, it's like building a house, it's kind of building the foundation, you know, brick by brick by brick, and I talked about this on his show yesterday, suddenly, you have a house, and then you build another house, and now you have a coldest sack, and then you have a town and then you have a state and and that's how it's going to be with with all of these mental health conversations is, you know, before you know it, everybody's going to be speaking about it. And that really, is the world that I hope to see, I know from speaking with you Dina is the world that that you hope to see. And so yeah, I'm looking forward to being part of that part of that community as well.

Deana Brown Mitchell: 00:36:15

Absolutely. I'm so excited about what's coming. And I also want to say that, you know, when I was starting to realize Foundation, and in trying to figure out what it was going to look like, I had a conversation with a former business owner in Denver. And he told me that he used to go to AAA meetings. And he wasn't an alcoholic. But he went to AAA meetings, because it was the only place that had these conversations and provided support. And I know a lot of other people in my life who go to AAA meetings because of alcohol. And you know, I've had some struggles with that in my past too. But we even thought about making a framework for a model like that. But when I started doing things virtually in 2020, it just made more sense. Like you can get on one of our events, or our book launch or one of our meetings, anytime, from anywhere. And you're gonna meet people you would never meet in your own community. And I think that is a key point for mental health. Because sometimes people don't want to speak up in their own community. Because they have bosses or coworkers or family that doesn't understand what they're dealing with. And when you get in a zoom call with people like us, you meet new people that have similar struggles that have advice and empathy for what you're dealing with. And it's, it is a safe space. And it's almost anonymous, because when you first come you don't know anybody usually. And you, you are feeling like it's okay to speak up. Because all of us are talking about it. Yes. So it's the ideal situation, I think, for someone like me, who was silent for 23 years, to be able to have an outlet to talk about something where you don't feel comfortable talking about it. In your family or your friends circles.

Erik DaRosa: 00:38:30

Yes. And I think when I think back to COVID, and all of the the challenges and the struggles of COVID. I think some of the Silver Linings that came out of it are things like zoom, right? None of us used zoom, during the first week of March in 2020. And it's allowed us to create platforms like this, to have podcasts to do virtual events. And, as you said, it brings people together who otherwise would never have met. And we you know, we went from living in a world where we had our own little silos and we were isolated to suddenly our worlds expanded. And I well, I think one of the things I'm happy now to be taking away from what we experienced in 20, and 21. And 22 is, is all of these amazing people that I've had a chance to meet along the way through communities and through interviews and conversations is when I travel now I make it a point to try to see these people in whatever city that I'm in if if I'm in a place where we're is either a guest who has been on my show, or vice versa, or you know, someone here in the book, I know we've been even chatting within the group about you know, trying to do some book signings and things together. And I think that's really what the what the value is here is is it's it's opening up the door be able to have these conversations with other people who you wouldn't have met. But then now we can, once again take that to that next level and have these in person dialogues and conversations and get to hug each other and, you know, and go into each other's communities and, you know, and hopefully help build up the community and, and strengthen it and, and show people that like, there's strength in numbers where, you know, we're going to talk about this. And so you can either join us or you can, right, but the train has left the station, and here we go.

Deana Brown Mitchell: 00:40:34

And it's just, it's so important to, to talk about. And I didn't understand that for so long. And I didn't, I was in a place in a time where people didn't talk about mental health much. There wasn't a lot of resources that were visible to me, at least in the 90s or early 2000s. I know they were there. I just didn't know about them. And I didn't go looking for them. And so the challenge, I think to all of us is, how do we make it more visible? And how do we make it more accessible. And I read an article the other day, that, you know, the new number for the suicide hotline is 988. That happened in July of 2022. And they're saying I still do research and go to mental health websites, who have the old number. And there was, there was an article I read the other day that like, it's been a year, and people still don't know about this. So I just wanted to mention that because it popped in my head. And I think it's so important because nobody is going to remember a 10 digit phone number to call in an emergency situation. And 988 is just like 911, but it's for suicide, and you can also text that number. So, you know, we don't I think we don't talk about that enough.

Erik DaRosa: 00:42:07

Yeah, no, I agree with you there. There are so many amazing resources out there. And there are so many people who are working to be able to help others with their struggles. And I think we all need to be doing what we can to be able to communicate what's out there, and what's available. Because like you, I had no idea what was available out there. And I compound that with the fact that I didn't even think whatever was happening with me was fixable. And so I just threw up my hands and said, Well, I guess this is who I'm going to be for the rest of my life. And and I can tell you and I can tell everyone listening today that it couldn't be any further from the truth.

Deana Brown Mitchell: 00:42:54

Very true. Well, Eric, it's been a really great conversation. I hope it reaches many people, because I think there's lots of things we talked about that can be helpful. And I'm just super excited that you joined our project, and that we're going to get to be mental health buddies and friends for a long time.

Erik DaRosa: 00:43:15

Yes, as am I and, you know, we're gonna take Colorado by storm. And we're going to start on the western side of the Continental Divide, where both you and I live. And we'll we'll blanket this state with, with messages of hope. And, you know, if anyone, I always offer this up to anyone, if there's anyone out there who feels as though they're struggling, and they may not have anyone to turn to or, or anyone who they feel that they can share their, their story with or connect with, please, you know, feel free to reach out to me, you know, Dina will have all of my, my contact information, and it'll be in the book, and I'm happy to lend the listening ear and and if you want to be connected with resources, wherever you are, I'm more than happy to help with that as well.

Deana Brown Mitchell: 00:44:11

Awesome. Thank you so much, Eric. We're gonna have a great book launch. And we're like, a little over. Well, September 22, September 22 22nd. Yeah. And that is also Suicide Prevention Month.

Erik DaRosa: 00:44:27

Yes. And the second day, I guess it's the second day of fall, right? September 21. Yeah, so the leaves will be turning here and here in the western states and book launch and yeah. Yep. ski season will be right around the corner.