Set Apart | Ted McConnell

Speaker: 00:00:00

Deana Brown Mitchell: Hi, it's Deana with The Realized Foundation. And today I'm here with Ted McConnell in Cincinnati, one of my favorite football teams, because I'm a huge Joe burrow fan. I went to LSU. So anyway, I'm glad to have you here today Ted. I'd like you to share a little bit about yourself if you'd like. And then just a little bit about your chapter that you wrote.

Ted McConnell: 00:00:23

Hi, Deana. Thank you. And you know who they are. So I live in Cincinnati, I've lived in Cincinnati, most of our life. I've moved out to live in Dayton, Ohio, I went to school. At Wilberforce University, I lived in Michigan with my wife for some time. That's where she's from. But that was short lived because it was cold, in Michigan, and a lot warmer in Cincinnati. So I'm back in Cincinnati, it by a professional. And I love my job. And I got involved with this project through my cousin who knows you. And it sounded very exciting. So many things I could have wrote about. It was like a divorce. But I don't want to put my kids through that. That was that's a that would have been a best seller. That went on for eight years. Wow. So it had more scars to it than the story I wrote about which was really growing up. Basically being a foster child. You know what, some folks don't find that to be an exciting or thrilling or success story, but I think mine was. My mom was my mom, 54 years and foster stepbrother, and we're still brothers, he was still my mother today. I buried her. Like family, cousins, aunts, uncles. I'm blessed to have three children and four grandchildren pass for my youngest test married, but he doesn't have kids. And he doesn't meet kids yet.

Ted McConnell: 00:02:13

But this was exciting. It was easy to write. Especially for my Christian pass back. Because, you know, not knowing my birth parents was okay. Because as I mentioned, in part of my writings, you know, I learned that I had a heavenly father when I was young, and I understood that, believe it or not, I was in church on Saturdays and Sundays. My great grandmother, foster still was a Seventh Day Adventist. So she went to church on Saturday. And my mom thought that was a great way to have us and out somewhere and Sunday with my mom's Baptists. And she did ask me one day, hey, what do you want to do? And I said, this is too much. So I said, Well, if I go seventh day, Adventists, which I sort of believe more, but I'll be in church on Saturday, and all my friends are out playing ball. Then Sunday, I'll be home. But everyone's in church. So I'm gonna go to church on Sundays, I everyone else's in church, and Saturday, we'll play ball. But either way, I, you know, I know every day is the Lord's and we pick the Sunday Sabbath to serve them. So writing this was easy, because I know that he always had his hand on me. And a lot of stories of people who went through drugs use womanizing, and I heard many beacons of my church. And I didn't have the story to tell like most of them, but I did find out about us and do have a story. He's always had his hand on me. So it was a guy named Joe, who's pretty much like that, too. Although he had a trying time in life, and I met a few growing up, you know, I was met with some things that I didn't mention about, you know, the color thing of your skin, you know, I got it. I'll say I got I caught it from both sides. You know, but I persevered. I had, you know, complexes as a young kid growing up, who was little in between, like Malcolm in the Middle, you know, I was in the middle. And I survived it. And today, I'm proud to tell my children Hey, it's a blessing. I probably fly past some folks and I've been called in the crowd. I didn't see you. I thought you were, you know, I had a date. And oh, this is crazy. I was having a blind date. And I guess I wasn't, you know, still along the wall in the restaurant, but a lot of the Caucasian, the girl called My friend said, I don't see him here. I just watch occasionally, and I'll say it that way. She said, he's there. I just got off the phone with him. And she looked at me, I said, Oh, you said he was like, you think it was why? Oh, no, we're gonna get this thorough, like, I didn't appreciate that didn't work out. But it was the funny story, I'll never forget about blind dates, you know, I sort of gave up on that sort of thing. But writing this piece was really easy. There was probably more I could have written in some sane, some ways, I'm very personal. I don't, you probably get that, from my feedback of how many people follow me or I follow, I am not a social media in that. I, my picture on Facebook is from 2006, I think, because I will share my personal family and children and grandchildren. There's just too much out there. You know, where I just ate, what I'm eating, where I'm flying to, not for the world to know. But I will talk to, you know, one on one. I'm one that would rather pick up the phone and texts. I rather meet, you know, break bread and talk. So I don't have that social media, you know, stamp on it. But as I say, as of my profile, or my tea, but I'm at social media, which is fun, you know? Yeah. So, I enjoyed it. It was fun. Because like I said, it's probably more I could have written but I didn't want to get you know, I don't know how my brother would feel about it. You know, we talk about that. A lot of people I cousins that didn't know. I know, some until they were 19 that we were even foster cousins. They my mom was the oldest and they just thought I was the oldest cousin. And I was around before them. So they had no clue until I guess it came up in conversation one day. You know? Didn't know I never put it out there. never questioned didn't ask who knew who didn't know? And I didn't have to because we live like family and we still do. Still my cousin my I just in my heart. So I thank God for where he placed me. I know there's some stories and success stories didn't go from home to home. But uh, you know, God put me where I supposed to be. And I'm happy. That's good. That's important. I hope the story you know, may reach those maybe in that situation. You know, Annie is. I love Annie because I remember being in the children's home. And I remember I was asked, you know, do you live here with these folks? And I'm Lincoln, my own bedroom. Little, you know, I think maybe a nine inch black and white TV and air conditioner in the window. Yeah, my own bed. I could do this. So I think he drove by 65 red Mustang white convertible top acid. This is cool. Yeah. Good.

Ted McConnell: 00:08:33

Deana Brown Mitchell: Yeah, sometimes we don't. You know, different people grew up different ways. And sometimes we don't. We don't always appreciate what we have until we hear a story like yours.

Ted McConnell: 00:08:47

Well, you know, another thing in high school, I was fortunate enough to go to the Dominican Republic. I took a vocational class because I wanted to be an architect. So we went to build homes in the Dominican Republic for hurricanes Frederick and David 1979. And I saw poverty, up close, real stuff, the stuff you see on TV and never think about like the kid running down the street with a stick in a camp or something round. That's a toy. Old man who were probably at that time in their 80s working harder than men here at 65 and dying on the field re trying to be rebuild homes with us, you know, these young kids who came over here to help build these one room homes for folks. I never asked for anything after that trip from my mom. I was there for a month. And I when I got back home, I said people on welfare rich. Those are my thoughts and words, even till today. So I'd like to say I'm humble to somebody Gray. I do like some pleasures in life I like to eat well, I have a nice car and a watch, but not in a clothing and fashion shoes and things of that sort. But there's some things I do like I like to eat well just get my first big 70 inch TV out, you know, some things, they don't move me do I have no jury on my hand? You know, other than the Apple Watch in my fraternity? You know, but God's been good. And, you know, I rather have Jesus and silver and gold as the song says,

Ted McConnell: 00:10:38

Deana Brown Mitchell: Yeah, that's true. That's a good one. So when you when you decided to write your story in this book, were there emotions around it? Or was it easy to sit down and just write it? Or how did that process look like for you?

Ted McConnell: 00:10:57

Believe it or not, it was so easy. I been comfortable for many years. Partially, or partly because, as I said, I knew I had a heavenly Father young in life. I know I, I'm doing well, for myself. My education isn't as high as some, but I'm doing well. How my kids are doing well. There's still a pocket comes with territory. But no emotions in any way. I was never abused, never neglected. My mom, believe it or not. I say this as a testimony to her had a hot meal on the table for us every night. My mother never took us to McDonald's. I hated that. I I did not go. I did not get a pair of Converse gym shoes, though till I was 14. But she made sure we had the basics. But junk food wasn't one of them. It was a hot meal every night. And that meal may have started out one way Monday or Sunday and then it up some way another way. But it was a hot meal. No going out. You know, the fast foods, we did not do fast foods. We can't say the same for my kids that I race are my grandkids and I see it's fast food a lot of times. But when I found out about my son's house now and I decided order pizza verbals and stuff over here, so hi. I did not add good memories writing this. It was comfortable writing this. I think the Lord that I made to write it, because I did I had a heart attack in 2016. I'm still here to tell the story. And I know a lot of my friends are not. I have a shoebox full of obituaries. And more than I could probably tell you over 30 You know, we're talking about justice COVID Because that's when they start happening. So I feel really blessed fortunate to be here to even right about this. And hopefully talk to some folks about being a foster child and surviving. And not being faced with some abuse of this that goes on in the world. Especially today. Oh, it's scary.

Ted McConnell: 00:13:37

Deana Brown Mitchell: Yeah. Let's, I'm glad you're here too. And I'm glad you joined our project. I think, you know, there wasn't a whole lot of fast food in my life when I was young either. Maybe some but not a lot. And it makes me remember that comedy routine that Eddie Murphy did about McDonald's. Do you ever see that?

Ted McConnell: 00:14:01

Let's see. I remember there was him in the purple suit in the red suit. Hilarious, I think was one of them

Ted McConnell: 00:14:08

Deana Brown Mitchell: Maybe. He was going on and on and on about this moment.

Ted McConnell: 00:14:14

I remember ice cream. I got some ice cream. You know, I remember McDonald's

Ted McConnell: 00:14:20

Deana Brown Mitchell: But he, I think it was in that same one. He talked about wanting to go to McDonald's and his mom said he would. She would make him a burger at home and he was like But McDonald's.

Ted McConnell: 00:14:31

Have to remember ice cream. I was really funny. On the well.

Ted McConnell: 00:14:40

Deana Brown Mitchell: Oh my goodness. That's funny. It's funny what we remember from so many years ago,

Ted McConnell: 00:14:47

People can do dialogue from the movie all the way through now. Why didn't one Dalmatian? I knew that Pungo oh boy, because my kids would watch five times straight. I knew a lot of that dialogue but some of the movies So I have friends who attacked us and go through them. And I'm like,

Ted McConnell: 00:15:05

Deana Brown Mitchell: Yes, that's funny. Yeah. Well, I really appreciate you having this conversation with me. I thank you,

Ted McConnell: 00:15:13

I hope it's a blessing, somehow, some way to move to people, multiple people. I hope maybe I can tell a different story maybe later. With the stories that I saw her, I don't think there's any about, you know, being a foster child. So hopefully this will serve its purpose of what, as well as all the other stories.

Ted McConnell: 00:15:41

Deana Brown Mitchell: There is one other story in this book about Laurie who was in foster care, but her story was much different than yours.

Ted McConnell: 00:15:49

Oh, good, because

Ted McConnell: 00:15:52

Deana Brown Mitchell: She did not have a very good experience in foster care. But I think that she it is it is propelled her to do so many things in her life now that she's so excited about. And she's really excited about this book. So,

Ted McConnell: 00:16:09

You know, Paul's life didn't start out well, either. Yeah. It's true. You know, but he got the write about some good stuff. So bad.

Ted McConnell: 00:16:20

Deana Brown Mitchell: And we're all really glad he did.

Ted McConnell: 00:16:23

Yeah. So Laurie story, I hope in the end, you know, serve like halls it, you know, things were upgrading beginning. But look at me now. Yes, absolutely. And thank you, for allowing me to be part of this. I know, I probably wasn't as available as most folks because of my busy schedule. But, you know, I still feel grateful and humble, that I'm part of this. And God is so good to allow this to happen. So thank you, vessel, for allow this for me to speak to someone.

Ted McConnell: 00:17:02

Deana Brown Mitchell: Yeah. And you never know who's gonna read your story, because our books get all over the world. And we've had, you know, we get the royalties from Amazon come back to the foundation. And we've gotten them from lots of countries, including as far as Australia and Japan. So you never know who's gonna read your story. And we also have a lot of people who, like might rebuy a book to read part of it, or read all of it, and then they give it to somebody else to read. And so you never know, even when one book is purchased? How many people see it. So it's really been a cool experience to see the impact. It's hard on so many people. Great. I'm sure we don't even hear the half of it. We just hear some of it. So

Ted McConnell: 00:17:49

Yeah, and I plan to purchase the other two volumes, you know, I can read some other stories.

Ted McConnell: 00:17:55

Deana Brown Mitchell: It's, um, there's a few, a handful of people that have written in more than one book. So when you just said you might have another story, maybe next year, you'll have to do another.

Ted McConnell: 00:18:05

Okay. Thank you again, though, for allowing me to be part of this project. And thanks to the world.

Ted McConnell: 00:18:14

Deana Brown Mitchell: Thank you, Ted. And I think we're gonna, I'm just gonna put this up here and say, you know, if anyone's listening to this, and it's before September 22 23, we're going to be having our book launch event on that Friday, September 22. And it's only it's we have links all over our social media and our website, but it's $1 to buy a ticket. And if you want to donate more, you're welcome to We would appreciate it. And if not, that's fine. We want anybody and everybody to be able to join us. So again, there'll be on September 22, and you'll get to meet all of the people who wrote in the book. And here are some new news about what we're doing at the realized foundation. So thank you, Ted, for your writing and your story and for being here with me today.

Ted McConnell: 00:19:02

And who they to realize I thought they said