How the Pandemic Brought Suicide Full Circle | Deb Weilnau

Deana Brown Mitchell: 00:00:02

Welcome to Scars to Stars were conversations and personal stories, let us know we are not alone. In this show, you will meet our authors and speakers from our books and events, as they share vulnerable personal stories to spread, poke and inspire you through adversities in your own life. The world is a difficult place, you will find like minded people here with kind hearts and supportive souls. I am your host, Deana Brown Mitchell. I am a suicide survivor and the founder of the realized foundation. I am so glad you are here. Let's dig into this meaningful conversation.

Deana Brown Mitchell: 00:00:47

Hello, everybody. It's Deana again. And now I have Deb with me to share a little bit about her captor and what she wrote about. So Deb, take it away.

Deb Weilnau: 00:01:01

Thanks, Tina. My chapter is about how the pandemic brought suicide full circle for full circle for me, from personal, personal attempts to the loss of many friends, and how it affects the families of suicide survivors. And how it all kind of changed for me due to an recent incident with suicide.

Deana Brown Mitchell: 00:01:28

Yeah, I know your story is so impactful for me as a suicide survivor, because you get to see what your loved ones might have to go through. If you succeed, you know, and I think it's, it's a hot topic in the world of suicide, because a lot of people think that it's a selfish act. And I think that that I don't think that's necessarily true. But I definitely understand how people who love you can feel that way. So it's I think your your story gives people a lot of perspectives that each of us in our own silo don't see or think about.

Deb Weilnau: 00:02:15

Yeah, it's, it's, it was an amazing event that happened, it was probably the worst day of my life, but yet, then it wound up being one of the best days. So tragedy turned into something wonderful for me, that's where my life began, right. And that's when I knew that it was time for me to branch out and join events like this. And what you do, what you're doing with scars or stars is just amazing, especially from the suicide standpoint, because the pandemic has hit many people a lot in different facets, right, from job loss to depression, because you can't get out and see people. So I think it's even more prevalent than we ever knew. It just highlights it, right? Because people are so secluded.

Deana Brown Mitchell: 00:03:07

Yeah, it's so true. I've said this on several videos, but you know, we have 1000s of organizations in the world who work in the suicide prevention arena. And I think they're all valuable, and they all do great work. But I don't think any of them are reducing the statistics, because they have been growing for decades. So my feeling was, what can we do to change that? What can we do to keep people alive and let them know that they're not alone. And scars to start from the beginning, whether it was the event, or the summits or now the book, it was all about that getting people to connect, so they know they're not alone. And they understand a story, a personal story from someone they can relate to? And how did you get through this and maybe that will help me and also just the personal connection and support. And that's what all of this is about.

Deb Weilnau: 00:04:02

Yeah, as a matter of fact, I was I was led to your scars to stars event. And by doing so it gave me the courage to actually become one of your speakers and share my story. And then when you every time you share your story in a in a secure setting, what happens your shame goes away and you're more willing to be vulnerable, because you're around people who are just like you, you know, they might not have the exact same story. But what happens is, is you relate to each other and be you become a like a community and you back each other up. So when this events or the book events came to be, I was excited because I knew the exact story that had to be told one that surprised even myself and having been somebody who's been in therapy for probably 30 years of my life. I think I became kind of complacent thinking, Well, you know, I'm cured. Well, after this event, it made me realize that I really didn't deal with everything. Okay, I had to go back and revisit those dark moments after the event happens. So,

Deana Brown Mitchell: 00:05:19

yeah, well, I'm so thankful that you were introduced, we were introduced, like, over a year ago, I guess it was, and that you were part of the events that we did, and, and we hope to do many more of them. And we hope to, you know, save lives and change lives and build a better, bigger community and support each other. And I think it's, it's, I've been working on this for two years, and I'm just so glad that it's, it's finally happening, and it is finally, changing lives. And people are really excited about what we're doing, and how we can help people maybe in their lives that are hurting. And so, the other question I have for you to have is, you know, and you, you've talked a little bit about it, I guess, but being part of this book, project, whether it's the community, that's, that has been the most impactful for you, or whether it was, you know, the healing that came from writing your story, or whatever part you want to talk about, but just what is this project in general meant to you personally,

Deb Weilnau: 00:06:27

This has been an extremely exciting projects for me to take part in, and not only be as a community, right, the community is very strong and very supportive. And just a neat event, and all the people you get to meet right, so many people like you, everybody's story is different, it's unique, but we all embrace each other. And I think that's what we need to do as a community outside of there, right? And just when you think your story is horrible, you can meet somebody else who, who might have had a different story that's even worse than yours. And you go, Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh, you know, not that that's a great thing. But it also helps you to gain a little compassion, right? And to be gentle on yourself and accept that, yes, I've made mistakes. And you see somebody else who's made mistakes, and they're forgiving themselves, you kind of look at yourself white, can I forgive myself, right? And I think by writing my story, and sharing it in that only has made me a better person. But my story, if it's only read by one person, and the value out of it, I've done what I'm supposed to do with this, right? Yes. Oh, yeah, I'm very grateful for the opportunity. And I'm glad that you kept with it and made this happen.

Deana Brown Mitchell: 00:07:52

Well, thank you, I'm, I'm excited that everyone that is part of this project has, has been in my life, at least for the last year or two, during this whole, you know, pandemic and stressful time. And those of you who don't know, I was so busy with a business before the pandemic, I didn't have time to even think about my own mental health. And then after COVID, and closing my business, this is just my whole new life's purpose, after I uncovered all the things from my past that I had been hiding for so long. So it's been a journey for me personally, as well as, as all of you and other people that have been involved in some of the events and stuff. And so it's just, it just validates what I think my new purpose in life is, and I'm super happy about it. Because, you know, using our scars to help other people is something that, you know, is unique to each one of us. And it's also a gift that we've been given that can help other people overcome something similar. And it's just when you can finally get to a point where you're healed enough to realize that it's a gift and what to do with it. It's like, I don't know, I don't even know how to explain that feeling. But it's like, you go from what Lisa said, like, from why me to what's next, you know, like, focusing on what's next focusing on the solutions and how do I get to the next level? And what do I do and for me, helping other people is what helps me

Deb Weilnau: 00:09:36

Yeah, I think you we, I think we are beginning to embrace our journey, you know, and taking looking at it for what it really is. It's a blessing. So whether you whether you have a lot of jobs in your life or you've had a lot of heartache. I think it's all makes us who we are. And by giving us an opportunity to share I think we're going to we're going to make a huge difference.